Law of Hemoglobin Capacity – The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Inconsequential Undetectability – People never notice the little things… Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Juvenile Intellectuality – Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Mandibular Proportionality – The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating. (from A. Hicks)
Law of Feline Mutation – Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: be female, will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation, and wear as little clothing as possible, if any. (from A. Hicks)
Law of Phlogistatic Emission – Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Melee Luminescence – Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for ‘good guys’ and red for ‘bad guys’. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.(from Tom Williams)
Law of Follicular Chroma Variability – Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation. (from Spellweaver
Law of Follicular Permanence – Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons… with bladed weapons! (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Probable Attire – Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) – All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Hydrostatic Emission – Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Nasal Sanguination – When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections, they get nosebleeds. Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of blood flow to that region.(from Ryan Pritchard and Jason Aylen)
Law of Early Blooming – At least one female must have large breasts.
Law of Scars – If a character has a scar, there will always be a long, usually angsty, emotional story behind it.
Law of Healing – Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the “Priss Effect”.)
Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability – The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life…
Law of Extreme Anger – Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. *(see law #49)
Law of Sweat Pore Variability – When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.