The Laws of Anime Science
Seeing as we are examining the portrayal of science in anime, it would be a good idea to review what exactly those laws of anime are. Now there are a number of different lists, so I have tried to compile a list of relevant laws. The laws of anime were collected from two main sites, anime café and TV tropes. The rest were culled off a number of different places on the internet. I have also grouped them by subject category whenever possible.
Law of Hemoglobin Capacity– The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Inconsequential Undetectability– People never notice the little things… Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Juvenile Intellectuality– Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Mandibular Proportionality– The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating. (from A. Hicks)
Law of Feline Mutation– Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: be female, will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation, and wear as little clothing as possible, if any. (from A. Hicks)
Law of Phlogistatic Emission– Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Melee Luminescence– Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for ‘good guys’ and red for ‘bad guys’. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil. (from Tom Williams)
Law of Follicular Chroma Variability– Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation. (from Spellweaver)
Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons… with bladed weapons! (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Probable Attire– Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)– All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Hydrostatic Emission– Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Nasal Sanguination– When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections, they get nosebleeds. Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of blood flow to that region. (from Ryan Pritchard and Jason Aylen)
Law of Early Blooming– At least one female must have large breasts.
Law of Scars– If a character has a scar, there will always be a long, usually angsty, emotional story behind it.
Law of Healing– Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the “Priss Effect”.)
Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability– The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life…
Law of Extreme Anger– Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. *(see law #49)
Law of Sweat Pore Variability– When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.
Law of Inherent Combustibility– Everything explodes. Everything. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
First Corollary– Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary– Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as “The Matchstick City”
Law of Metaphysical Irregularity– The normal laws of physics do not apply. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Differentiated Gravitation– Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics– In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion– In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion– The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Temporal Variability– Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something ‘cool’ or ‘impressive’. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Energetic Emission– There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy ‘bulge’) before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics– *ANY* shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism– If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the “Pikachu Effect”).
No known laws at this time
Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude– The destructive potential of a weapon is inversely proportional to its size. (Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito)
First Corollary– Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.
Law of Technological User-Benevolence– The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity. (from Tom Williams)
Law of Flimsy Incognition– Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives. (from Conrad Knauer)
Law of Proportion between Supernaturality and Adolescence– If you are older than 17 and nothing interesting ever happened to you, never had a not-girlfriend from space, never engaged in any kind of Ki based fight or generally just led a boring life until you’re 18, you’ll never meet that kind of opportunity again, since it is scientifically proven that all interesting stuff happens only to high-schoolers.
Law of Holy-Mother-How-Do-I-Pronounce-That?- All rules of anime must have unnecessarily complex names that are impossible to pronounce.
The Law of Inverse Training Time– A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
I hope you enjoyed my laws of anime list, and that you checkout my more detailed analysis of the validity of the laws. Also if you have any new ideas for laws of anime, let me know.